Wind of Change

Summer always brings about the wanderlust in me. I wish I had the kind of life where I could pick up and go any time the wind blew, beckoning me to another place, much like Vianne in Chocolat. Sometimes, it does feel like I have a gypsy spirit. Restless. Bored. Eager to experience something new.

This summer has not brought about the much-needed relief from winter we expected. Very few of the summer days have been over 80 degrees and sans rain. So much rain! The weatherman announced today another kind of polar vortex blowing in next week and bringing in 60-degree temperatures. In the middle of July.

Seriously.

The boys haven't noticed. They're still running around in the backyard, begging to go to the park. They are enjoying their summer at the Y, learning science and going on field trips and taking swim lessons. I'm grateful their summer will be full of fun, learning and new friendships. Summertime is so much better when you're a kid (or retired!)

Rocky and I have taken a much-needed hiatus from home improvements the last few weeks, save for a quick fix or upgrade here or there. We need to get back to it while the weather's good; at least on the outdoor items. We can save a lot of the indoor stuff for when we're shut-ins this winter.

A few big things are on the horizon for our family in the coming months. We can't share about them yet, but they're there. Waiting to be worked out; preparing to be told. I cannot wait until I no longer have to hide behind vague words and stories. When I can name names and share details. So much of such a great story cannot be told at this time because it's protected, and fragile. Our family feels like a fortress without walls- strong but open. Secure, but vulnerable at the same time.

Back to the wind.

I have one of the only offices in my department that has an operational window. Others might have great views, but I can open my windows! There have been a few occasions where gusts of wind have blown papers off of my desk, and it felt like life rushing all around me. A life I'm missing. I comb the web looking for travel deals. Check flight schedules and prices. Daydream about destinations in which I have never been, but want to go. I check our calendar relentlessly for openings - anywhere! - where Rocky and I might get away. I do this all the time.

But the calendar keeps filling up and the summer is slipping away and there's no money for that anyway, not with the list of house projects we've amassed. And our boys are growing like weeds before our eyes, and wearing out shoes faster than we can buy news ones and asking to go to the park and wanting Daddy to play football.

My gypsy spirit wants to book that vacation, wants to getaway.

But the pull on my mommy spirit, the voice from my Father, whispers, "Stay. Be here. It's going so fast."

And so, I'll delay getting our passports. Stop looking at the travel sights. Store up our suitcases. Ignore the wind rushing through my office.

I'll be here.

I'll be present.

I'll stop looking to a new destination.

I'll gather my roots and my babies and go to the park. I'll wrap them up in hugs and kisses, push them on swings, watch them conquer the monkey bars and make new friends. Like Vianne, I will stay where I've landed. And when the wind blows, I will simply enjoy the breeze and get back to work.