Yesterday we parked in the driveway to unload our Ikea spoils. As I was pulling the goods from the trunk, a large family of adults was walking by along our backyard fence. Our five-year old popped his head out of the backyard gate, and to perfect strangers shouted, "Gimme high five!" It's one of the cutest, and most frightening things this kid does.
How do you teach your kids to be kind, outgoing and friendly while also teaching them about "stranger danger?"
On the car ride to work this morning we started the conversation. We told him that he can give high-fives to kids, but that he shouldn't ask adults for them unless mommy and daddy are with him. He was so confused. He didn't understand what he did wrong. He couldn't see how something as innocent as a high-five could endanger him. It felt so wrong to tell him to squash his instincts. I could see on his face how perplexed he was. And he kept asking, "Only kids? Not grown-ups?"
I have no desire to raise my kids to be fearful and untrusting.
It is not my wish for them to be leery and unfriendly.
But as parents, how do we protect them in this world of very real danger? How do we keep them safe in a city - no world, that seeks to harm, exploit, and destroy them?
This is the challenge of missional living.
How do I invite my neighbor over for dinner without knowing if their intentions are good?
How do I offer to help someone carry their bags into their house if I'm not sure what, or who, awaits me once inside?
How do I have the childlike faith of my son, while also protecting myself and my family?
This is the question I have to ask everyday.
Our mission is to join God in seeking the lost. This means putting ourselves in messy, and sometimes scary, situations for the sake of the Gospel.
I remember going on a prayer walk a few years ago in downtown Riverside with my old community group, which included children the same age as my kids now. Somewhere along the way those kids, along with their parents, encountered a homeless man smoking crack. And those little girls, in their childlike faith and innocent hearts, asked him what his name was and if they could pray for him. And I remember thinking, how were their parents able to let them approach that man? What if he was dangerous? Or worse - a child predator? I was dumbfounded. When we all reconvened back at the starting point, the girls' parents said, "I was afraid to let my kids talk to this man. I wanted to shield them from him and his crack pipe. I didn't know what he would say or do. But God made my daughters, and the Holy Spirit prompted them to talk to this man and offer their prayers. How could I stand in the way of that?"
I haven't thought about that night in years, until the car ride this morning when we told our son he couldn't give adults high-fives.
And I am so convicted.
The urge to protect is so strong. But I do not want it to be stronger than their Father's voice, who created them, who has called them to His purpose.
I do not want to stand in the way of who God created them to be, and the gifts He has given them to spread His love.
And so I must commit to memory Psalm 121, which says,
"The Lord himself watches over you!
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon at night.
The Lord keeps you from all harm
and watches over your life.
The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
both now and forever."
I know this does not mean that no hardship will ever befall us. I know this is not a talisman.
It is something greater.
It is an assurance; a promise that no matter what, God is with us.
He is with me worrying about my kids. He is with my husband trying to keep us all safe. He is with my boys trying to meet the neighbors and make friends.
He is with us.
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