Today as been borderline unbearable. My kids' annoying qualities have reached a fever pitch as we survive the last few days of summer before school starts back up next Tuesday. Owen's cold, combined with his full-fledged toddler mania, has made the last few days miserable. Little sleep, lots of whining, TONS of destruction around the house. Nothing appeases him. It's been miserable for the both of us. And the awful third-trimester symptoms are at an all-time high: acid-reflux, leg cramps, shortness of breath, forgetfulness and loss of reflexes. I have dropped so many things today. I am on my own last nerve.
Life has been hard for me recently.
Adding to that heaviness is the anxiety of knowing I will have a newborn in 7 weeks jpoiging the mix of what feels like an already crazy house; certainly a house not prepared to welcome him. I have a torn-up bathroom upstairs. Boxes everywhere. Unfinished minor house projects. Deep-cleaning that needs to happen. I feel completely ill-prepared. A "What was I thinking?" kind of sinking feeling. Why did I think I could add another baby? With no help? No family nearby?
I must be crazy.
I guess there are worse things to be.
I know this season will pass. I'm already amazed when I look back at pictures from a year ago and see how tiny Owen was. Now he's just a regular ol' toddler terrorist. And some moments I have a hard time remembering that sweet little cherub that smiled no matter what. It must be hard to be him, too. It must be so frustrating to not be able to communicate exactly what you want and how you feel. I sympathize with him, but it sure has made things hard the last few days. He just gets so upset so quickly.
And so do I.
Sigh.
I need a break.
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