Never is a Promise

It's been a frustrating month for us in terms of fostering politics.

Our social worker was fired recently. We loved her. Like considered her a part of our family. She loved our kids, was a professional, sought the best case scenario for everyone when she could, and genuinely loved and was passionate about her job. We were so upset. Scratch that. We are so upset. Fostering without a social worker is like heading into a meeting without a clue as to what you're presenting. Our day-to-day hasn't changed much, but not having someone to keep you informed, be a resource and advocate, and manage your kids' case makes fostering challenging.

The make matters worse, our kids' case has a permanency hearing set for this Thursday. A permanency hearing is when the foster agency, kids' attorney and mom's attorney meet before a judge to discuss the status of the case and make recommendations for either reunification or termination of parental rights. When kids are removed from their parents' custody, the goal is always reunification. The courts and the Department of Child & Family Services put programs and services in place for the parents to complete as they work towards reunification with their kids. Permanency hearings are scheduled about every six months, barring something major occurring the case.

In our case there are 8 children. My boys have seven siblings ranging in age from 4 months to 11 years. They are all precious kids, victims of a cycle of poverty, drug abuse and neglect. They do not deserve the hands they have been dealt. They deserve loving families, moms and dads, safety, health, nurturing and love. They deserve to have a biological mom and dad who care, who are working towards a better future for everyone, who are sacrificing so that their children may thrive.

They are not getting that.

Instead, they are spread out across Chicagoland, split into fragments of a family. Eight kids in 5 foster homes; some paired up, some alone. Some have a foster mommy & daddy, and others just a foster mommy; a paid substitute for their own mother. They are all in much better circumstances than from which they were removed.

But they want to go home.

They want their mom.

They want the comfort of being known by a people that are theirs.

Family.

We like to say things like, "Family is who you choose," and "There are many different ways to make a family." But the thing is, your family is your family. They will always be your family. Just because you live with someone else doesn't make them your family. It's not about blood or DNA or genes; it's about who you are, where you're from, how you're known. It's a whole lot more than two adults and two kids in a house with a dog. It's rooted; it's a part of you. Family is everything, next to God Almighty. Everything about who you've ever been is tied to your family. And for my kids, for their brothers and sisters, that thread had been shredded.

The kids are grasping at a loose string flying in the wind.

They cannot grasp it. Cannot mend the tapestry that is their family.

This Thursday our foster agency will be making a goal change recommendation. They will ask the judge to terminate parental rights for our boys and their two little sisters. They will ask the judge to forever change the course of these kids', and their mom's, lives. They will ask the judge to tell a mother that she used up all her chances. She's done. It's over. You will never get these kids back.

And my heart has been broken in a way I did not know possible.

Please pray with me. Please pray that in everything that God would be glorified. That in whatever decision the judge makes, that God's goodness and redemptive power will be shown. That in whatever capacity, God will use us to minister to these kids and their family.

That we would remember that it is never finished in God's eyes. Redemption does not expire.