Today was a GREAT day. I mean kids behaved, listened (mostly) to directions, didn't get in trouble at school. Heck, we even went to the park after I got off work and enjoyed some time together outside before we ate dinner as a family and settled in for the night.
And still, I was told by my little one, "You're not my mom. ___________ is my mom." And by the older one, "You're our foster mom, not our real mom."
Payback for saying that to my
Even though I know what the point is, and even though I know why I'm doing this and that one day they may understand and appreciate it all, it still hurts when those words escape those innocent lips. It still cuts the deepest.
It takes everything I have not to say hurtful, truthful things.
Things like, "Oh yeah? Well where is your mom? How come you can't live with her? Why isn't she here? Feeding you, doing homework with you, comforting you when you're sad, patching you up when you're hurt?"
It takes everything.
Because the reality is that I don't want to make them sad.
Their mother's failures are not their fault. They are not to blame.
And don't I love my mom? Don't I miss her?
I can't fault them for that.
My only prayer is that one day, they can express themselves more tactfully, less hurtfully.
Then again, I still need help with that at 33.
So there's that.
It's very hard. Even though I've never been told that, I still want to say, "I'm the one here for you, I'm the one who does all of these things to support you, where's your mom?" It's hard to be the bigger person! You're doing great!
ReplyDeleteYou're doing great, too, friend. They've said their share of hurtful things to you, even if it's not those words. I know how hard it can be to be doing all the work and still have to compete with a "ghost" mom. Love you!
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